Category Archives: Relationships

So Unloved

I’ve been thinking of Michal, the woman who tricked her father and his emissaries. She is the daughter michal2of a king who marries a king. I don’t know why Graça Machel comes to mind. Maybe it’s because she’s been first lady of two different nations; she is the widow of former South African president Nelson Mandela and of Mozambican president Samora Machel. (Notice the similarity in Michal and Machel?)

Anyway, back to Michal. She made no effort to conceal her love for the much-lauded champion of Israel. What young woman would not be attracted by such a strong athletic young man; one who confronts and slays a giant? The Bible says that “He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.” (1 Samuel 16:12) Hello, somebody? Nonetheless, we observe that she didn’t love the Lord otherwise she would not have had the hair-covered idol to place in David’s bed, when Saul sought to kill David (1 Samuel 19:13,16). Also, I wonder how deep and true Michal’s love for David was because – to save herself – she pretended that David had threatened to kill her if she did not help him escape (1 Samuel 19:17). True, David’s life was spared but what a different story might have been written of her if she had been a woman after God’s heart!

Was she stony-hearted?

‘Heartless’ is perhaps too strong a word for a woman who in her time, they were treated as property, being tossed from one husband to another (1 Samuel 25:44). Yet we do not read of any weeping from Michalmichal as she is taken away from the home of the man who had shown her so much affection during the many years that David was in hiding; but Palti wept for her (2 Samuel 3:16). Thus she was restored to the man who viewed her more as a conquest than a wife. For this is what he said, “Give me back my wife Michal, for I bought her with the lives of 100 Philistines.” (2 Samuel 3:14).

Poor Michal! We know that she had an outburst when David came back home after returning the Ark to Zion. This was the Ark of the Lord but like I said earlier, the woman had no love for God – this victory didn’t please her. She was more concerned about how undignified her husband appeared to them young servant girls as he praised God (2 Samuel 6:16, 20). Do you think she knew that her husband had a weakness for the opposite sex and this made her insecure? I cannot but express sympathy for her.

What’s left

It seems like she never quite got anything of her own…she didn’t enjoy the love of a spouse or family. Her husband who she had loved so dearly wasn’t actually hers initially. She wasn’t his first choice. Her sister Merab was, but stuff happened (1 Samuel 18:19) and 100 foreskins later as her bride price, she was David’s wife. Michal never had children of her own, instead cared for her sister’s 5 children – all who were eventually beheaded. Poor Michal!

How many Michals are there today? They love but are unloved. They risk to save their loved ones. They go to great lengths even putting their security in idols – the gods of this world for the sake of those they love. They bail their beloved out, rescue them from tight spots only to be abused or abandoned, neglected and deserted. Are there some who seem to get only what someone else has left? Are there some who feel so forsaken that they have despised God in their heart?

Call to God

Know that despite all of the negative experiences that can render one bitter, God’s love has been poured michal1out to you. He is merciful and can change your situation. We do not hear Michal crying out to God in repentance or for mercy but you have the opportunity to do so today. Call unto Him and He will answer you. He will be with you in your distress. He will deliver and honor you. There is hope!

Blessings to you!


If It Looks Like A Frog

frog kissing
The idea that you have to kiss several frogs before you get to your prince(ss) charming is not scriptural; it is not godly, yet many settle for it. I read something in my Bible; you might have come across it too. It goes something like this: “If human beings (being as evil as they are) know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more will my Father in heaven give good gifts to me who asks Him!” In other words, you cannot ask for bread and then He gives you a stone (I mean a deadbeat!!); you cannot ask for a fish only to be given a snake (Get it? a snake! That’s right!) (Ref. Matthew 7:9-11 NLT)

There is a reason you keep getting frogs. Search it. What is it that attracts frogs to you or vice versa? You MUST get rid of it. This is serious…

And I saw three evil spirits that looked like frogs leap from the mouths of the dragon, the beast, and the false prophet. – Revelation 16:13 NLT.


Heeey! If it looks like a frog…BEWARE! (Seriously, why are you even kissing it in the first place?)

Remember the 10 plagues of Egypt in Exodus? Frogs (Exodus 8:6) was one of them and they were everywhere! (How annoying.) Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron to pray to the Lord for the frogs to go away. So Moses asks, “When do you want me to pray for you?” Now, brace yourself for Pharaoh’s answer… “Tomorrow!” Say what?!
What would one want one more night with the frogs for? (Exodus 8:10)

Unfortunately this is the same situation in the lives of the ‘frog kissers’. God sends someone to help you. They ask: “Sister/brother when can we pray for you to deliver you out of this problem?”

“Tomorrow.” (Translation: Just one more night with the frog, please!)

Mmmhh… Alright then. We will respect your choice.

Identifying and Getting Rid of Frogs
To get rid of frogs, you must identify them:
* Frogs have rough, harsh, coarse voice instead of a calm small still voice
* Frogs are a symbol of complaining or reproach as opposed to praise and gratitude
* Frogs are a symbol of impudence=cocky boldness (contemptuous)
* Frogs are a symbol of empty loquacity (too much talk) and very little listening if any.
* Since the frog lives in mud/marshes=symbol of those who live in sin/pollution (and have no desire to leave),
* Frogs may not eat much but drink much=symbol of drunkards
* The frog swells his size, and distends his cheeks=symbol of pride
* The frog endures all changes of the season cold and heat, summer, winter, rain, frost and can easily go for a night vigil and fool you if you’re not prayerful because they are capable of clubbing all night too. Have you ever wondered how a saved sister ends up marrying a…? Well, you get it.

Getting rid of frogs is easy. Get godly wisdom and it will change your fragrance. This wisdom puts the Jesus aroma on you. It is what makes you know not to kiss frogs. There is no right frog – and you get this from the scriptures. The wisdom of God sets you above, it raises your standard and you stink no more! And it will be said concerning you, Baby, you sure do smell sweet! The question of whether or not it is the right frog does not arise. It is a frog. A child of God has no business kissing frogs. Period!

Beloved, God has shown you, now it’s up to you.

Copyright © 2014 Dee Kyalo-Mwanzia

Dee Kyalo is the author of Crushing Invisible Barriers and Looking Up . Check out the cool reviews and ‘like’ us on Facebook! Both books are available here now.

6 quick signs that you’re in a relationship with a woman – not a girl


A godly man can distinguish the difference between a woman that falls in love with him and a girl that falls head over heels with the external trappings of his ‘office’, a woman that is positioned to view him properly and a girl that is possessed to view his property, a woman that respects him and a girl that inspects his every move…

My dear gentle brothers, here are some quick signs you can factor in that can aid make your decision easier:

1. A woman may have issues but she is wise enough not to leave them unresolved. Past issues that have not been resolved are often referred to as baggage. If she hasn’t learned to take up her baggage and deal with it as opposed to uncaringly loading it on others, she’s not yet a woman. A woman has learned to turn from her selfish ways, take up her cross and follow your lead. (Ref. Matthew 16:24 NLT)
2. A woman is complete, secure and independent by virtue of what she has received and therefore understands that she has everything she needs for living a godly life. She is in a relationship not because she is afraid to be single but because she’s attracted to you and she believes that this is an opportunity to give and share and develop a high quality life, together. (Ref. 2 Peter 1:3 NLT)
3. A woman knows who and whose she is – a crown of beauty and a royal diadem; and carries herself out as such. (Ref. Isaiah 62:3 ESV)
4. A woman doesn’t have the diva complex. She doesn’t throw her weight around delivering harsh words and making unreasonable finger-snapping demands thinking that the world revolves around her. She doesn’t think herself better than she really is. (Ref. Romans 12:3 NLT)
5. A woman is confident and powerful but not proud and arrogant (which is a manifestation of lack of a sound mind). She can voice her opinions and concerns without having a nasty tone or attitude – she displays love, grace and self-control. (Ref. 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)
6. A woman is not only interested in your goals but encourages you to pursue them. She doesn’t tear you down but builds you up; trusting you to make the right decisions in your own life. This is her lifestyle: She lets everything she says be good and helpful, so that her words will be an encouragement to you. (Ref. Ephesians 4:29 NLT)

Here are more bonus tips…

A woman depends on God

A woman depends on God

Take a peak into a bachelor’s journal and please feel free to share your input.

Copyright © 2014 Dee Kyalo-Mwanzia.

Author of Crushing Invisible Barriers and Looking Up . Check out the cool reviews and ‘like’ us on Facebook! Both books are available here now.


Book Signing Event

Book Signing - Dee Kyalo

This book Crushing Invisible Barriers has some pretty cool reviews!

Available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, WestBow Press, Ebay, Books A Million, Indie Bound or your preferred bookseller.

Like us on Facebook!

Here Is My New Book!


It is my privilege and honor to announce the publication of my new book: “Crushing Invisible Barriers”. This book is sure to enlighten, strengthen and encourage the reader on their journey towards an enviable marital destiny!

For your tax deductible amount, click here to get your own copy!

Receive my many thanks in advance for your support.
In Christ’s love,

It Is Not Good That The Man Should Be Alone!

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper for him.” Genesis 2:18

This is a scripture that most people know so well but who is this man? You’ll be interested to know that the verse doesn’t speak for all men. Let me explain;

*Check out verse 15 – This man has a job (he works, he makes an honest living)

*Verse 16 & 17 – This is a man who God talks with, giving him instructions (he has a personal relationship with God)
*See verse 19 – This man can be trusted (God brings a project to him to see if he can complete it)
*Verse 20 – This man was smart/intelligent (not only is he able to figure out a project that he has never handled before but he also goes further in detailing… naming each ‘component’)
This is the man who God is looking at and saying it is not good that he should be alone.

God knows that this kind of man will clearly identify his help-mate when God brings her along. See verses 22-23. He will not be so unsure and unstable as to engage (read, go out with/date) and propose to marry several sisters only to break their hearts.
This man is mature enough to leave his boyhood and cleave to his wife. See verse 24. He understands that when he starts a family he will not be controlled by his mama (and/or papa) hence causing unnecessary stress to his wife. He is the head of this new family. He understands his anointing and gifting for this position.

This is the man who it is not good for him to be alone. May the Lord answer his prayer.